Shocking dating secrets
Unless the revelation is something that you are sure you will never accept no matter what the circumstances are then try, as far as possible, to put it to the back of your mind and continue dating and getting to know the whole person. Most of these things we learn from and move on with our lives but some of those mistakes can continue affecting our lives for years to come such as marrying young and having a child.These are the kind of things that a date might reveal but it is important to remember that even though they may still be affected by their mistakes they probably wouldn’t behave in the same way now as they did back then – if they had known better, they would have done better.We come to expect a few uncomfortable moments even when a date is going really well, someone spills the wine or neither of you knows what to say for a moment or two, it is natural and happens to everyone.The problem can arise when right in the middle of a perfect evening your date reveals something about themselves that you find difficult to digest.Do you run screaming from the restaurant or sit it out even though you have immediately closed your mind to the possibility of seeing them again? Keep it light When you are first dating someone it is all about getting to know each other and having a lot of fun together – a couple who can laugh together will stay together as the saying goes.This will not necessarily stop dates from revealing significant things about their past usually because they want to start a relationship with nothing to hide – this is a good thing.
Talking to friends can help you get a different perspective.
You probably won’t know the whole story and that will take time. Hartley said in his book The Go-Between, ‘The past is a foreign country, they do things differently there’ and it is worth remembering this if your date’s revelation is something happened in their past as opposed to things that are current today.
You need to decide if that is time you are willing to invest. Everyone has made mistakes and will have things in their past which they are ashamed of.
Stuart studied journalism at the University of Southern Queensland in Toowoomba.
He worked briefly at Central Queensland News and Warwick Daily News.